big important post

i slept for about nine hours, meaning i went to bed sometime around twelve and then attempted to sleep off and on for nine hours

"agony"

i woke up and had emails waiting for me which, mathematically, means that my day will be .26% better in general, and better than someone who does not wake up to new emails from people

i talked to ben brooks about "culture" and "groceries"

i don't know what's going to be so important about this post but i'll think of something quickly

i applied for a job at a cafe
if i get the job, i might be a barista
i will be serving gelato and things to people
and making recommendations and sampling products
according to wikipedia, "gelato generally has less than 55% air, resulting in a denser product."

i am really "excited" to "work" with this "denser product"

"i" "feel" "more" "safe" "when" "i" "type" "everything" "like" "this"

when i heard that billy mays died, i felt very upset because i thought he was the person who sold the self-fluffing pillow and said "i believe in this pillow with my heart and soul", but it was actually another man, tony little. i still feel sad about billy mays, but less-sad, understandably

i have not been able to make a poem out of "i believe in this pillow with my heart and soul" but i will soon

i will not end this post in a poem

**important section of the big important post**

are tao lin interns allowed to have interns? as intern #11, i hope i am allowed to have an intern of my own

i might hold "auditions" for having an intern

this job entails reading to me, informing me of new releases around the "blogosphere", encouraging me to write new poems, and advertising my writing in ways that are "meek" or "demure". actually i'm not sure if i want to be advertised. i don't know. an internship is not a paid position but i might occasionally write a poem for an intern.

should i make an application? what should i do?

**important seciton of the big important post**

**okay**

these are some hands that i drew

i like the song 'wake up' by the arcade fire

here's a list of some elephants in the room

-vulnerability
-my grandmother's books
-why is my cat acting like that
-new glasses
-dance class ?
-do i like dancing ?

i think i'm going to type a very long post now.

these are the lyrics to a song by Why? that i like very much called 'yo yo bye bye'

i was walking through San Antonio before sound check
i was looking for some pole to do pull-ups on
i'd like to talk much longer
but i'm on somebody else's cell phone's time
why we still sleep if Carolina was our
wake up call, our almost done
i'll tell it to you like i got it in my mind

i'm fucking cold like a DQ blizzard
you act like a slut but you're really a freezer
we love and hate like the tattooed fist
and all these songs are sung on road trips

one night when I was walking home from your house
i kept smelling some sort of blown out candles
and the monterrey birches were bare
raising their skinny arms to the stars in surrender
we have to change if we're going to stay together

'cause i say rain when it's only a drizzle
you get stoned like death in the bible
"she ain't gonna call 2" didn't make my list
but all the rest we sing on
and all the rest we sing on
and all these songs are song on road trips

let me describe the current conditions

the perfume i am wearing is called 'lovely'
i am listening to 'the zombies'
spending money on food is 'really stupid' because i always have food at home
i don't want to spend money on food anymore
when will the collected poems of frank o'hara come in the mail
i am going to see akron/family in august with my brother
when will i write a decent letter to alexander

there is a new poem at mass elk suicide

i'm tired of typing
i'm going to go read 'i am rainbow'

if you want to look like a dragon

email me and i might write a poem for you

or email me a poem and i might write a poem response

or ask me a question and i might write a poem that contains the answer


* * *


i'm sorry if i'm boring

i started a new painting a few days ago

it's a portrait of fritz scholder as a young boy, wearing ray ban eyeglasses

i was listening to the seven hours worth of neutral milk hotel on my computer while painting it

i used white, black, burnt sienna, sienna, pale pink, and dark brown to paint the face

are you jealous that i have seven hours worth of neutral milk hotel

or does it just make me an indie assface

i don't really know

joyfuljillian@gmail.com

irrigation

my drink is warm
this pillow is too thin
my stomach knew how i'd feel this morning
at 5:10 a.m.

what are you even doing
anywhere else
and does anyone else even care

don't tell me the answer
i couldn't even wake up
to write this poem

read some words chapbook

http://www.readsomewords.com/


my name is jillian and i approve this chapbook, i think, maybe, i'm pretty sure

smeop wen

my computer is typing everything backwards. i don't know what to do. i should restart my computer but i feel nervous. anyway, i have new poems published at 'read some words'. please go read them .tnaw uoy fi meht daer nacx uoy ,naem i

day 198

the most painful state of being is remembering the future - particularly one you can never have.
--kierkegaard

mass elk suicide

memory #12 is now posted at mass elk suicide

i want to read 'save me the waltz'

email me interesting things

i am adding a new 'element' to fondly, sincerely

you can submit interesting AIM/gmail chat/MSN conversations or even just one thing someone has said to you, in context, without being "too lengthy"

unless you can keep me entertained with an entire conversation

i think this will make my summer feel more productive

so email me your conversations & interesting things

*complaint*

i have a lot of things sitting around in a word document and i feel like i want to organize these things and make them into poems but it's hard to write poems these days and i feel like i'm wasting paper in my new notebook

*end of complaint*

i'm trying to write a new poetry series, it's going to be called ACCIDENTAL SEA BIRDS

and it will contain some of the following themes and things:

sad animals, dying animals, paralyzed animals, feelings of boredom, awkward transitions, "displacement", animals trapped in garages, & the way showering is kind of sad when someone's been holding you

j.

new

there is a new post at fondly, sincerely by kerri

i had a dream a few nights ago that i got a tattoo of the T.J. Eckleberg eyes from the great gatsby
i went to school and said, "look, everyone. look at my new and exciting literary tattoo." and no one was impressed

i really liked gatsby and i felt sad for him
i cried a few times while reading
maybe that means something is wrong

i liked prathna lor's bear creek feed poetry series, 'safe toilet syndrome'

maybe over the summer i will start some new project, traveling journal or something. i don't know

something